Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Editing the Christian Science Monitor

by Ken Houghton

In the grand tradition of Scott at LG&M, here's the lede opening paragraphs (corrected; h/t, Gary in comments) for today's article on the faith of Rudy "I Hate Ferrets" G., the thrice-married Devout Catholic, as it should be:
Minutes before the South Tower of the World Trade Center collapsed into a roar of white dust and debris, Mayor Rudolph Giuliani caught a glimpse of the Fire Department's chaplain, Father Mychal Judge.

"Pray for us," the mayor said, reaching out to grab the chaplain's hand as the two raced past each other in the chaos.

"I always do," replied Father Judge. "I always pray for you."

It was the last time Mr. Giuliani would see his close friend and spiritual adviser. Judge was killed minutes later as he administered last rites to a firefighter who might not have died had Mr. Guiliani not both moved the Emergency Headquarters from the safety of the basement of One Police Plaza to the 25th floor of the WTC and failed to work over the previous eight years to provide the fire department with proper communication equipment, such as the police who had been warned to evacuate the building by then were using. The chaplain was just one of many personal friends among the casualties, which the mayor summed up for the stunned nation simply as "more than we can bear."

There. That's better.

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That's a huge improvement, Ken, but you didn't change the lede. The lede is the first sentence or two; not the fifth.
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