Saturday, January 21, 2006

Murphy's Laws of the Locker Room

by Tom Bozzo

1. No matter how large the locker room, or how empty the gym, someone will need to get into a locker adjacent to yours while you're changing. (Alt.: you must wait for a traffic jam to clear before changing.)

2. Given suitable gym and workplace demographics, you will eventually see your boss or some other senior colleague naked, or vice-versa. Either way, it is somewhat embarrassing.

Today's trip: A two-fer. (Senior colleague, contributing to the traffic jam, for #2.)
No kidding on #1!!! Why oh WHY is the locker exactly next to my own so appealing?

And #1 has a corollary as well; "If the locker you've selected was between two occupied lockers, the end of your workout will coincide exactly with one of the occupants of said adjacent lockers."
I think women get less embarrassed about this stuff. Though I do admit that I might blush if I saw my boss next to my locker. Unless he kept a towel wrapped around his middle.
On #1: And it always seems that you both are doing something extremely complicated like trying to get your swimsuit on, thus having to manuever around another naked person as well as trying not to trip over the bench placed in the middle of the aisle for your use.

And a funny locker room story...A few years ago, I was heavier. I sat on one end of one of those long benches in the locker room, and the other end flew up, whacking someone's elbow who was standing near a nearby locker. I don't think I've EVER apologized so much in my life. Talk about embarrassing!
Sara: I've done the long bench thing before (a wobbly picnic bench), only with my son as the weight on the other end. Fortunately, I caught myself just before launch.

Nina: Hey, his is a family blog! ;)

Robert: Excellent addition; the corollary is what makes #1 a true nuisance.
I'm even amazed that I "googled" Murphy's Locker Room Law" to see if someone else noticed this!

THere is also Murphy's Law of Running...if you are the only person running on a long narrow road without a shoulder, two cars approaching each other will do so exactly as they are both passing you.
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