Thursday, November 03, 2005

I Wonder What The Students Will Nickname It...

by Tom Bozzo

On the ride home, I passed the dedication ceremony for "Nail's Tales," the new Camp Randall memorial, ahem, sculpture at the corner of Regent St. and Breese Terrace. Associate Vice Chancellor for Facilities Planning and Management Alan Fish was looking more self satisfied than usual. The speaker (I'm pretty sure it was the artist, Donald Lipski) described its intent as projecting "power and energy and force." [Note: I've seen "power and strength" quoted elsewhere. I was on my bike and not taking notes, so it could have been strength instead of force. Lipski definitely added "energy" in between.] Well, I guess you can say that:

Suzanne said, "If it projected any more power it would be squirting out the top."

I suppose it's a suitable companion to the Greenbush neighborhood sculpture, a few blocks east near the Kohl Center, which always looked to me like a giant fallopian tube swallowing a pyramid.

Addendum: A picture of the erection is here. (It's safe for work, really!)

More: Welcome Daily Page readers! Upon second viewing, "Nail's Tales" is a very strange piece of public art.
Gee, I don't know . . . I guess I kind of like it.
I saw them 'erecting' it this morning while I was on the bus to work. I thought to jump out and take pictures, but it was too late. Several people on the bus said, "what the heck is that, it looks like a big corn cob." The big football phallus.

Suzanne wins best comment of the month!
Wow, that is terrible. At least the Greenbush memorial has the redeeming virtue of having once had moderately interesting text and photos on the base (that has since mostly faded).
I am usually a fan of public art, but I just don't know what to say about that *thing*. I don't mind the Greenbush sculpture after reading the inscriptions on it; it's much more powerful up close.

Maybe they should have instead done this. Alvarez Statue The Heisman Pose, maybe?
Camp Randall Panhandle?
Green Bay Packer Tallywhacker?
One-eyed Badger?
On second thought, "Nail's Tales" is the perfect monument to the UW athletic department.
Upon seeing it in the daylight, it's starting to grow on me.

I hate when I have to retract my knee-jerk reaction.
I'll have to see how it strikes me on the ride home this evening.
heh. I saw in the cap times that someone referred to it as 'buckingham phallus'
I emailed an old college friend about this. This is an excerpt of the email I received back.


The morning piss-boner of the sleeping sidewalk monster! The dildolith! It is as if the sphynx
itself popped a hard-on straight through the planet, needing only a barbed tip to complete the effect. How long until students have contests to see who can sit
atop the dick-rock the longest? They need to plant two large, round shrubs at the base of the monument,
and if they don't, we may have to sneak them in, just to make it right. How about a "cap the sculture" contest making papier-mache "helmets" for the top? It IS in front of Camp Randall, where there ARE a lot of
helmets (of various shapes and sizes). Maybe it can be turned into a charity money maker like the sturgeon and cow sculptures that companies sponsor to be
decorated, put on display and auctioned off in various
cities. This can be Madison's own, decorate-a-phallis for charity. Oh, Oscar Mayer could sponsor one, and
so could Johnsonville Brats and the US Postal Service. It will be so grand to stroll down a "Johnson" street lined with, well, johnsons painted in various themes with beautiful colors! The new city motto could be "Madison: we soooo win the penis game!"

(The penis game is a game where we take turns saying "penis" louder and louder in a public inappropriate place until one of us wimps out.)

I'm still wiping tears of laughter away.

I'm not sure blogger will let me publish this with its questionable content, but here it goes. Thanks Christel.
OMG, that is funny.

Even if we weren't all grown-up here (we are grown-up, AREN'T WE?!), I'd give "dildolith" a special dispensation.
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