Saturday, October 07, 2006

We'll Know L'Affaire Foley Really Has Hit the Fan When the Vice President Stops Signing Fund-Raising Letters as "Dick"

by Tom Bozzo

Ken, dear that he is, forwarded me another one of his GOP money begs for disposition — this time Richard B. "Dick" Cheney writes:
The liberals are desperate and will do anything to reclaim control of the U.S. House and Senate. Unless we work every single day between now and Election Day to identify, contact and make sure every Republican voter sends in an absentee ballot or actually gets to the polls -- we risk not only the Democrats stonewalling President's Bush agenda but advancing policies that weaken American's efforts to fight the War on Terror and raise your taxes.
Ah, Death of Irony, your name is "Dick" Cheney. Weaken the War on Terra or raise your taxes. What could be worse?

Maybe if "Dick" pursued studies in economics rather than political science, he might have happened across the old Milton Friedmanism, "to spend is to tax." Now, I'm sure that somewhere in the economically illiterate wingnuttiverse, someone is saying how terrific it is that what may well be the local economic expansion peak has brought us a mere quarter-trillion dollar unified deficit. Meh. Even that dubious accomplishment seems to have been accomplished with some assistance from the indefatigable duo of Smoke and Mirrors.

Meanwhile, as for that war thing, let's not forget some of the things Dick's One Percent Doctrine means: for one thing, per Soixante Minutes, it means detaining every Robert Johnson at the airport as a suspected terrorist. At the risk of violating some secret CFR provision against mocking the do-not-fly list, and having "Dick" (uh, I mean, his "boss" — wink) declare me an enemy combatant, perhaps the legendary bluesman would be highly suspicious had he not died sixty-eight years ago. But otherwise, there are just thirty-five such suspected terrorists in the Madison phone book alone. We have no idea just who Robert Johnson the Possible Terrorist might be, but it stands to reason that it would be easier and cheaper to exert the purported power of the purportedly unitary exective to shackle an FBI agent to that particular Robert Johnson and to leave the other tens of thousands of law-abiding Robert Johnsons alone.

This, of course, is not to mention the elephants in the room.

Plus, if any of you out there want to know what sort of suckers the Republicans take their contributors for, and an observation towards Brad DeLong's occasional series of "they lie about everything," here's "Dick" telling Ken how the GOP is a poor grass-roots organization bucking the financial power of Big Liberalism:
The Democrats rely on unions and wealthy liberals to fund and operate their voter turnout. The RNC's Get-Out-The-Vote relies on the voluntary contributions of grassroots supporters like you, Ken.
Riiiight. That guy lighting the cigar with the $100 bill? That's nobody. Nope, never heard of K Street — is that NW, NE, or SE? And between you and me (and not that Comptroller General), it was just me, Gramma Millie and her bridge club in those Energy Task Force meetings.

What an asshole.
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