Thursday, May 10, 2007

My Unity Party Ticket

by Ken Houghton

While I can't argue with the appeal of Sharpton/Tancredo as a choice, and my preferred mainstream candidate (of those currently declared) is no secret—especially in light of recent events—I've been waiting for an Exciting Candidate Who Wasn't a Year Behind Me in College.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Erin 2008. Not certain about that second point, but the rest of the platform is solid, especially this:
Everyone can still bear all the arms they want, but bullets will cost $10,000 each and will only be available for sale between the hours of 4 and 4:30 a.m. on the third Wednesday of every month at a remote outpost deep in the heart of Death Valley.

The problem is that she needs a Vice President. And it should be someone with whom she gets along well, and who can appeal to those who might not be thrilled about the Screaming Yellow Zonkers and promise of nude pictures.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Rory Harper.*

So the only question is who should be president, and what their slogan should be. Subject to approval of the candidates (and given that Rory hasn't announced yet):

O'Brien/Harper: Because Erin Should Be On Top.

*Whose post provoked this response from his fellow EoBer, Steve Gould.

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Thank you, Mr. Houghton, for your support.

As President of the United States and as a Woman On Top of Rory Harper, I promise to deliver on each of my promises.


Respectfully yours,

President O'Brien
My fellow Americans,

Whoah! Talk about a Dream Ticket!

I would soooo love to be President Erin's Vice.

However, the people who are not in favor of the nude pics can go eff themselves.

We know who our base is.

Yours En Deshabille,

Rory Harper
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